Their Mother Did What?

It’s easy to look at our own parents and think how badly they messed up. But really even at their worst did you ever consider suing them?

There are two adult children (twenty-three and twenty) who tried to sue their mother. Their claim? Emotional distress. That distress came from incidents in which the mother told her son when he was 7 that she was going to call the police if he didn’t buckle his seatbelt. And he also was upset that some of his Birthday cards did not contain cash or a check.

The younger sister apparently had it bad. Her mother once called her a t a homecoming party at midnight and told her to come home. It gets worse-this same mother refused to take her daughter to a car show.

I never thought I’d get hauled into court. I have however worried that my boys will get me on the Dr. Phil show. They’ll both be seated across from me, and Dr. Phil will be between us. One of the boys will refer back to their childhood and say, “Our Mom would get upset and tell us that when we grew up she was gonna come over to our house at 6:30 in the morning, pee in her adult diaper, and cry until we let her in to give her cereal.”

Dr. Phil would suck in his breath and have that 10 second pause for affect. Then his shiny head would turn to me, and in that signature Texan drawl Dr. Phil would ask, “How’s that workin’ out for ya?”

Okay, so if my kids were truly going to take me to court for emotional distress I guess I should prepare my list. Well, I made Miles wear tennis shoes he decided he no longer liked. And they were brand named…poor thing. I told Maxon that hot dogs would no longer be suitable for breakfast. And being the meanie I am, I always insist they both wear helmets when bike riding and skateboarding. I am awful, I know. It’s shameful but I have been a stickler for brushing their teeth and taking vitamins. I can only imagine the lasting torment I bestowed upon them for demanding they wear hats and gloves in the winter.

Man I hate to sound like my parents, but I can’t help it. “Wait til you have your own kids. You’ll see.”

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