Okay…please excuse the title. I didn’t have time to finesse it. But I couldn’t let that prevent me from writing today. Today, a day that hasn’t always been a favorite day of mine. But almost 27 years after my mother died it’s sinking in (yeah, not always quick on the uptake) that there is still much beauty in the world, that you find a way to move forward-even if you have to go backward first, and that there are so many people to connect with.
Mom encouraged us to see the beauty in all things and all people. In the current landscape of society that’s quite a challenge. However, about a month ago I sat in the car waiting in the school parking lot for my kids to come out. As raindrops began covering my windshield I began to grumble because that meant I’d need another car wash, I’d have to roll the widows up, the kids didn’t have rain jackets, the dog would trounce around in the soggy mess of a yard, and where was my umbrella!!!!! And then out of the corner of my eye I saw this little girl from the Kindergarten class, standing next to her car. Her mother was rushing to get her younger sibling in the car, but she just stood there. Head tilted back a bit and squinting between the raindrops. And that grin. She grinned as if she ha just been told the best secret ever. She was relishing in the beauty of the simple moment. The beauty is there. Sometimes you just have to look very hard. Maybe with bifocals. And wait. A long time. Until it rains maybe.
Difficult relationships, stale careers, and the death of someone you love sucks (no need to get fancy with words). Some will tell you to just “move on”. Worst advice ever. Why? Because if you could just move on-you would!!! Don’t beat yourself up. But yeah…do take chances. You may fail, but thinking you won’t is vain and honestly unrealistic. I fell at my front door. Not kidding. Opened the door, then fell (very simple formula). I’ve been opening doors for a long time, but that day I fell. As I lay on the top step I kept thinking, Man, I fell! And now I gotta get up! And that’s what I did. I got up. I’ve opened doors for many years but that day I couldn’t do it without falling. Got a few bruises and great fodder for laughter. *Update…I resume writing this after a brief incident. My youngest son was bringing me breakfast in bed and the fork dropped off the plate and got stuck in his foot! His foot is fine. So yeah about moving forward. It’s attainable. Sometimes with reflection, patience, and faith. Other times a band aid will do the trick.
Please don’t misunderstand me. No one, not a single person can take the place of my mother Not even a close second. But as I have gotten older (or rather more “mature”) I value relationships differently. From those who have known me long enough to have enough dirt to secure I will never have a career in politics, to the newbies who have yet to discover my incessant love of all things chocolate and cowgirl boots. I’m talking from high school to college-neighbors, coworkers,family, and strangers (are you really surprised I talk to strangers?). You have helped me see the wealth of beauty in this world. You’ve been there to help me move on (if even at a snail’s pace and sometimes stumbling). And whether it’s dogs, careers, kids, or chocolate, we find a way to connect. I appreciate you. Carry on all you MOMS (Magnificent Other Maternals)! I appreciate you.